How I Listen

We live in a world that seeks the quick fix. Healing our emotional wounds -- be they rooted in the past and/or provoked by current events -- is no simple task. I don't fix, heal, or cure. I invite my clients to invest in bringing joy back to their lives. As a psychotherapist, I see it as my responsibility to:

• Listen,
  
• Synthesize,
  
• Connect-the-dots,
  
• Challenge,
  
• Offer suggestions,
  
• Encourage movement out of the comfort zone,
  
• Explore persistent self-defeating behaviors,
  
• Invite self-reflection and cultivation of compassion, and
  
• Remind clients that the avidly sought "answers" are within themselves.

When I first heard the phrase, "We love our upsets," I couldn't quite believe it. Years later, Carolyn Myss wrote about how attached we can be to our labels (such as "adult child of an alcoholic" or "incest survivor") in Why People Don't Heal and How They Can (1998). Between the lines, it seemed like Myss was suggesting that some of us get entrenched in seeing ourselves as victims. But some of us are … or have been victims. This can't be denied. What can change, however, is our self-image and how we choose to engage in life from this moment forward. Once a victim, not always a victim.

Some may protest, "How dare you suggest that I am in some way attached to being miserable?" In theory, we would all probably say that we want to:

• Feel better,
  
• Have more self-esteem,
  
• Get over this heart-wrenching grief,
  
• Communicate better with partner/friends/family/colleagues,
  
• Have more access to emotions, or
  
• Stop the addictive process.

But when the possible routes out of our misery present themselves, a lot of us veer in a different direction. We bargain. We get rebellious or resistant. "Sure, I want to feel better," we might say, "but I don't want to have to do that! (whatever that may be)." This is the point where some people end therapy or go shopping for a different practitioner. For those who choose to experiment with the possible routes out of misery, (M. Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Travelled got that title for a reason) it is helpful to have someone witnessing their process. I relish that opportunity.

New Clients

To expedite the process of getting started, here are some initial requests:

Click here to download the document, "Information for Clients." Please read the two-page document, provide signature(s) and other pertinent information on page 3, and bring this to your initial session.

Click here to download the document, "Client Information Form." Please fill this out and either send to Martha at info@MCScala.com prior to your initial session, or bring it with you.

It can be extremely helpful to consult with other professionals who have provided assistance to you in the past. Click here to download the document, “Consent for Exchange of Confidential Information” if you would like to give your consent for collaborative consultation.

I look forward to meeting with you and the possibility of our doing some work together.


Please Note: I am not accepting any new clients in my San Francisco office at this time.