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Out
on a Limb |
A
Monthly Newsletter from Martha Clark Scala |
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Invest
in bringing joy back to your life. |
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April
2010 |
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Welcome
to Out on a Limb,
a monthly newsletter from Martha Clark Scala. This free e-zine
is meant to invite and inspire you to maximize the joy in
your life.
Humble
Arrogance
Last month’s dirty word was “selfish.” This
month’s is … arrogant!
Scenario
#1: Let’s say you want to change jobs or pursue
a different career. You meet with a career coach, show her
your resumé or portfolio, and her candid feedback is:
what makes you special? How is your presentation of yourself
going to stand out and be noticed? Uh, um …
Scenario
#2: You’ve just written the best song or manuscript
you’ve ever written. You try and try and try again to
get it published and the perpetual feedback is … you
have no notoriety! What makes your output unique? Uh, um …
The sub-text
in the feedback offered by these two scenarios is that you
must get better at celebrating and promoting your strengths.
But what if you’ve been trained to lurk at
the meek and humble end of the continuum that runs from modesty
to grandiosity? (It seems like more women than men have gotten
this message.) You’ve got a steep hill to climb!
“If you keep thinking what you’ve
always thought,
you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”
~ Harvey Mackay
So, where
do you draw the line between behavior that is deemed boastful
or conceited (and hence unattractive) versus behavior that
claims rather than denies your gifts? You could say that
the above scenarios CALL for highly esteemed self-presentation
but are we supposed to put a lid on it in our everyday interactions?
That just leads to a divided life. Is it possible to pull
off humble arrogance? Perhaps it’s not a sin to be somewhat
full-of-yourself. Better full of your Self, than something
else, no?
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Happenstance Answer
Perhaps
the answer to this dilemma is found in a card drawn
from a wisdom deck at my acupuncturist’s
office:
Listen
carefully to your inner thoughts, no matter how small
or insignificant you may judge them to be. Those tenacious
thoughts that just won’t go away should
be viewed by you as intention talking to you, saying “You
signed up to express your unique brilliance, so why do
you keep ignoring it?”
And just what is your unique brilliance? Do you dare
say it out loud?
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Your
Core Gift
Psychotherapist
Bobbi Emel has developed a workshop designed to help
you identify your Core Gift. One of the most common
obstacles her participants bump up against (particularly
the women), is a concern that by declaring your unique
Core Gift, you’re tooting your horn
too much. That old saying “pride comes before the
fall,” rears its ugly head. But if EVERYONE has
a Core Gift, then maybe it will be easier to claim yours.
Take pride in your unique brilliance; it doesn’t
have to mean you think you are better than others or
that you expect to be treated like royalty!
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Poetry & Pizza,
Friday, April 2nd – Escape
from New York Pizza, San Francisco – 7:30pm
Featured poets: Lian Gouw and Martha Clark Scala
Your
April 2010 Prompts for Joy
Click
here to see an inventive performance of “This
Too Shall Pass” by OK Go. (With thanks to Bill Scala)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qybUFnY7Y8w&feature=related
Click
here just in case you haven’t yet heard of Emily
Bear, a 6-year old with quite a gift …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdZx1oIgAHk&NR=1
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Joy-Gram
for March 2010
Allow
yourself to meditate on the certainty, not just the possibility,
that you have a unique brilliance that wants to be expressed.
If you think you know what it is, I dare you to tell someone
else about it and fuggedddabout worrying that you’re
being conceited.
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Archives
Now Available
To
re-read or share past Out On A Limb newsletters, click
here, or type the following url into your browser: http://www.mcscala.com/html/EZineArchives.html.
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Disclaimer
By no means
do I have joy “figured out.” Please do not assume
that I do! I write Out On a Limb as much as a meditation for
myself in the ongoing pursuit of joy, as for you. I think this
pursuit is a lifelong journey and that the full experience
of joy is, at best, episodic. May we all have more episodes! |
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Martha Clark Scala, MFT • 721 Colorado Ave., Suite 201, Palo Alto, CA 94303 •
info@MCScala.com
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